Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Voice of Reason

Boy, did I want it to shut the F up today.

Man walks in to room.
Other man starts on how they are 'trying'.

1. Weird--my husband, and about 99.99% of men just don't spring this conversation up. Women between women---maybe. But dudes? Weird.

Shut the F up.

2. Man 1 tells Man 2, "Your wife is healthy and active it will be easy!" Oh, my bad. I should have been more active and healthier along with the other million women who use fertility aids--and your wife who just popped in a blasto or three. Guess I'm not smart enough (debunked yesterday's posting!).

Shut the F up.

Ok, I hope it is for them--seriously, wouldn't wish it on an enemy (you know the one with three kids from a blog or two ago). But it ain't that simple. Obviously. Or I'd be $9700 richer.

3. You read that right $9700. The loving husband called from DC in-between blood-boiling screams from Baby K to let me know he reserved the baby motel.

Shut the F up.

What happened? Where'd the other 300 come from? Jeeze. I read that letter wrong?

Well, if you know anything about me, you learned about my Marriott Points obsession through this all. And I'm happy to report that $9700 moves us up three steps towards platinum status--and we haven't tallied the bills for the rest of the month. How anyone does this on a single salary I can't imagine.

4. While trolling Facebook, the FB algorithm pools my data to some provide me with four relevant posts that populate in my news feed:
A. I find an ex-coworker preggers with baby #5 (or six) at the ripe old age of 40-something. Um, one leaving for college and one on the way? Hysterical!
B. The pee stick photo album. Really, a whole album dedicated to her pee stick.
C & D. The US shot(s) of none other than twins. My HS friend at 34 & couldn't happen to a nicer person. So long Mustang convertable (whole photo album to the 'Stang that was well done)! ---I hope you're getting all the irony here :)

Shut the F up!

And then the Voice of Reason whispers, "It will all work out. You'll survive this. You will be just fine, one embryo at a time. Now shut the F up."

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