Wow, what a difference 24-hours can make.
Baby K just got attacked by a wild dog! And I am exaggerating this to the fullest extent to 'sell more copies'--or at least get all my sneaky readers to confess by 'following' me. Wink. Wink. But in this 'altercation', she got knocked over and scraped her shin and back and got a two little black and blues.
But kisses made it all better.
Me? I had a full on falling out last night--complete with mascara running down my cheecks and black stains on my pillow cases as I starfishes in my empty bed alone. All by myself. Without husband. Without child. Just wallowing in self-pity about my family--you got it--say it with me---ONE EMBRYO AT A TIME.
And Kisses made it all better.
Too bad they gave me diarrhea. Whew, my bum burns! Apparently there's a serving size for a reason!
All these years I'd eat one or two and be fine, minus the extra calories and fat backpack I put on. But last night I had an bolt of lightning jolt through me lighting the BRIlLIANT bulb inside me rumbling that tropical storm:
Eat your way thin: Eat so many you have diarrhea: Poop it all out: No worries.
I'm amazing. My toilet paper
Wait--another tropical storm is brewing!
Ok I'm back.
My Toilet paper supply is running low. But c'mon. A. Mazing! I've lost 1.6 pounds since yesterday morning--ok, a little more than 24-hours, but rad! Take that Jenny Craig you Beotch. Weight Watchers time waster.
Alright, alright: again, I am exaggerating this to the fullest extent to 'sell more copies'--or at least get all my sneaky readers to confess by 'following' me. Wink. Wink. I'll leave it up to you to decide what parts, but I think I have a stomach bug-or nerves, or stress-which is so less glamourous, especially anywhere in public: like a three hour drive tomorrow to have an US wand crammed up my Vajay. Hope it's gone by then; if not, awesome for the tech.
In the meantime, 2x the H2O and you should have some, too.
And kisses to everyone. It will be all better.
**Please don't try this at home. No, I'm not a MD. Yes, this is my liability disclaimer because it's a crazy world and all my money is paying for fertility treatments. Laughing all the way to the stirrups...one embryo at a time.