Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Kisses. They Make Everything Better.

Wow, what a difference 24-hours can make.

Baby K just got attacked by a wild dog! And I am exaggerating this to the fullest extent to 'sell more copies'--or at least get all my sneaky readers to confess by 'following' me. Wink. Wink. But in this 'altercation', she got knocked over and scraped her shin and back and got a two little black and blues.

But kisses made it all better.

Me? I had a full on falling out last night--complete with mascara running down my cheecks and black stains on my pillow cases as I starfishes in my empty bed alone. All by myself. Without husband. Without child. Just wallowing in self-pity about my family--you got it--say it with me---ONE EMBRYO AT A TIME.

And Kisses made it all better.

Too bad they gave me diarrhea. Whew, my bum burns! Apparently there's a serving size for a reason!

All these years I'd eat one or two and be fine, minus the extra calories and fat backpack I put on. But last night I had an bolt of lightning jolt through me lighting the BRIlLIANT bulb inside me rumbling that tropical storm:

Eat your way thin: Eat so many you have diarrhea: Poop it all out: No worries.

I'm amazing. My toilet paper

Wait--another tropical storm is brewing!

Ok I'm back.

My Toilet paper supply is running low. But c'mon. A. Mazing! I've lost 1.6 pounds since yesterday morning--ok, a little more than 24-hours, but rad! Take that Jenny Craig you Beotch. Weight Watchers time waster.

Alright, alright: again, I am exaggerating this to the fullest extent to 'sell more copies'--or at least get all my sneaky readers to confess by 'following' me. Wink. Wink. I'll leave it up to you to decide what parts, but I think I have a stomach bug-or nerves, or stress-which is so less glamourous, especially anywhere in public: like a three hour drive tomorrow to have an US wand crammed up my Vajay. Hope it's gone by then; if not, awesome for the tech.

In the meantime, 2x the H2O and you should have some, too.

And kisses to everyone. It will be all better.

**Please don't try this at home. No, I'm not a MD. Yes, this is my liability disclaimer because it's a crazy world and all my money is paying for fertility treatments. Laughing all the way to the embryo at a time.


  1. Get yourself a spoonful of creamy PB next time to swipe those kisses in. It may hold off the chocolate thunder down under! In case you are wondering my PMS/MS/3rd&4th week of the cycle demanded I find a suitable alternative to PB cups one time last year. I only had the main ingredients. I like to think of myself as a Rachel Ray/Sandra(semi-homemade) type when desperate times present themselves :)KH

  2. kisses do make it all better. today i found myself kissing a puzzle piece. with the cutest smiling face in front of me. way cuter than smiles from my husband when i kiss him.

  3. @KH Those sound wonderful! Oh, i wish i had a few left over to try it. At least the unwrapping helps slow my pace. I did hit the pbj on hambergerbun:)