Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Blowin' in the Wind

Apparently I'm not as savvy as I should be and this has been sitting in draft form for four days now, so I appologize, but it is totally worth the wait!

After all the 'work' of a cycle, and it is WORK, what do you do with the left over embryos?  Freeze them should something happen? Have another?  Donate them to a couple? Donate them to science? Have them destroyed? It's an individual choice, and I'm not here to judge, but I heard this --what I found to be-- a totally hilarious IVF story the other day. It may be religiously offensive to some, so feel free to have your own opinion--as I have mine--but please don't send me hate mail.

Here goes my retell of her ordeal:

So this couple has been married for a few years and decides to wait to have children--you know the deal. They get pregnant with the first one no problemo. And a few years later, while living in New Mexico, they start to plan for baby number two.

But of course baby number two doesn't come that easily so they seek help from an IVF clinic. After a few treatments, and several thousand dollars, they become successfully pregnant with twin boys who were delivered and are loved so deeply.

But the husband and wife had a dilemma--what to do the the remaining 10 frozen embryos? They couldn't decide, so they paid the storage fee monthly. And months turned into five years, and the couple knew they needed to make a decision.

They decided not to have another baby, as they loved the three they had, but knew they would not be able to care for 5, 7 or 10.

The couple did not feel comfortable donating their embryos to another family and the State of NM made it so difficult post fertilization to make that happen anyway.

The couple decided to the donate them to science, but the State did not allow that (this is 2009).

Finally, the couple was left to having them destroyed. The clinic mandated they undergo counseling and during counseling, the couple learned that the State did not actually destroy the embryos. Instead thy signed them out to the owners to destroy.

So, one day, the husband went to the clinic and showed his ID, and just like checking out a library book, he was handed over 10 straws each containing an embryo as they were frozen.

The man stuck the straws in his pocket and drove home. He got home and handed the wife the straws. They had a moment together and,not knowing what to do with them, she stuck them in a pencil cup holder.

Every day she looked at them. She thought of her twin boys and the love she had for them.  She then thought of the mound of laundry, the diapers, the need she had to work, and the thought of daycare. And then their dog  died just a few days later. 

They brought home the ashes of the dog and decided to take the beloved family member on one last walk through the desert and thought that was also the best way to return the embryos to mother nature. They set out with all the children and strolled along, spreading ashes.  One of the boys got hungry and tried to drink from an embryo straw.  And so the family decided that it was time to say goodbye to the embryos, move on from that difficult journey, and focus on the current travels their adventure was taking them on. 

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