Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Egg on My Face--And in a Test Tube!

We arrived at 8:15 this morning.  We were a little early because we thought we'd be doomed by traffic but it was smooth moving--surprise, surprise! Got checked in and was immediately whisked away by the head nurse to get naked.  Why are those Jonnys so freakin' big?  I had that thing wrapped around me twice and it was still falling off.  Back to the gurney for the time being.

I was hanging out reading on the Kind.le and the husband was doing whatever on his phone waiting for his  appointment at 9am when nurse 2 came on over.  She reviewed everything the head nurse went over with the post-op care instructions: basically, if you're bleeding a lot, call.  We both nodded and said yeah, yeah, yeah, because we've now read it, had it read to us, and now have been read it again--should one of us had forgotten it in the last 8 minutes.  Ok, I'm just antsy and want to get the show on the road.  Nurse two leaves and returns moments later with the IV kit ready to go.

I've got plenty of veins that are all pretty visible--kind of disgusting actually.  They show up in photos and stuff.  It's one of those things i can't stand when they pop out.   With all this blood work, I've come accustom to all the needles.  So, not a big deal for the IV needle.

She chooses my left arm and ties the elastic tourniquet, pinching my skin.  Ouch. But i don't really complain and she realizes it and apologizes.  My fingers immediately go numb and what seems like five minutes later she's ready to stick.  She decides to go in at the elbow area. I hate the idea of bending my elbow with the IV in it, but that won't be an issue today.

"I'm meeting resistance," as she stops and says she can't get it in.
I give my husband a look.
"Let me try the other side."
"OK," I say, "but I'm going to need a minute," as now I'm feeling a little lightheaded.

She walks around the bed and prepares the other side and this time is a little lighter on tying me off.
So Number 2 starts IV number 2 and again goes for the elbow area.

And again 'meets resistance'.
Only this time I'm in tears as she was digging around--again what seemed like 5 minutes and what husband will report as "what seemed like forever"--and actually suggested my husband does it--and ask for another nurse to attempt number three.  I was SO nice about it--with tears running down my cheeks--even without breakfast!

BUT NO...I get the professional!  Excellent!
The Drug Doc comes over and starts a conversation with something like, "I hear you're having trouble with IVs"
To which I comment "Well, the nurse is having trouble," and he laughs and rolls his eyes.  He looks at my arm and says, "This is no problem, You're good."

He's in and out in under 30-seconds and it was painless.  Just like it always is.  I never have had "resistance'--at least not from my arms.  Ouch.
It's finally my turn and I stroll on into the OR wrapping my oversize shirt-dress around my body to protect other people from seeing my nakedness and sit down on the operating bed.  Now this OR (I really wanted to take my cam in for you) is like an over zealous gyno-room: your knees have little lifts instead of your feet.

As I'm sitting there they check my bracelet, review my DOB, hot embryologist confirms, and ask me to lay back, put my feet up and hands down.  A little O2 then I have no idea what happened next--I mean, I know what they tell you happens, but I can't remember a thing.

Except they retrieved 14 eggs (don't get too excited just yet) and I was offering to take everyone out for lemon martinis.  If you know me, you know this is quite possible.  Honestly, I don't know if I should be embarrassed or hysterical.  Can't be the worst anesthesia talk they've heard, right? Now THAT would be a good blog!

I had a little nausea so Drug Doc gave me a bonus shot of something that seemed to work pretty quickly.  Guess I do owe him a martini.

After a little nap and some high protein mini-meals, I'm feeling pretty good, peeing well, and the soreness in my belly is decreasing.

Now we await the daily reports one embryo at a time.  All aboard the crazy train!

Choo. Choo.

1 comment:

  1. ouch!!!! retard nurses couldnt make this process any more difficult by butchering your arms first? im assuming 14 is a high number but i wont get excited just yet ! keep us posted