On Being Positively Positive

Someone asked how to not feel so hateful towards all the success stories after dealing with the bitter disappointment. And my answer was--yet again--booze.

And some spiritual element floating in the universe that's gonna make everything alright.

I'm actually not a heavy drinker, and yes I know admitting it is the first step, but I'm also not a quitter. But seriously, it is hard--being positive, not not drinking. It's the war of good verses evil. And I can be evil, I know, this is something I will choose to be good about.

The success of another does not impact my outcome. If fact, I beleve, perhaps it's the opposite. This process--in general, getting pregnant--is still not understood. What if, for every successful pregnancy, more was learned about drug combos, hormones, uterine lining, etc. Success breeding success (and yes, that's a pun).

Not saying it's not easy, jealousy is understandable--especially when you're watching your account dwindle--but it is a choice. You'd never wish it on your worst enemy---not that it would matter because she's already got three free-kids (along with no job and a worthless mate, hehe.:)

So, to swallow pride, along with that enormous prenatal vitamin that seems to go down sideways, is just another testament of the strength to be a mommy. It's not about you. It's about one embryo at a time.